Zip lining in Costa Rica

Monterverde Costa Rica

 Most of the tourist attractions around Monteverde required daylight so there wasn't much to do that first night (especially since we're Baptists and we can't dance).  So we each lay on our own bed and wrote in our journals or read.  And since we are from Iowa, we also snacked on two small packages of OREO cookies.  I couldn't find the double stuff variety but it really didn't matter since we hadn't had any chocolate all week.  My only regret was that we didn't have any butter to spread over the cookies which would have indulged both of my vices.  We showered in hot water for the first time in 4 days and went to bed early because the next morning was ZIP LINE day and Sandy had longed for this moment for 3 months. 

 I like the way many of the tourist attractions operated.  You would call for an appointment the day before and they would send a bus to pick you up and after the activity they would take you home.  We were picked up at 7:45 and driven to a remote location in the cloud forest.  We paid to ride the zip lines and were then directed to a large gazebo where they fitted us for a harness, gloves, and a helmet.  On a zip line, you are hooked to a large cable via a pulley and harness and you ride down the cable to a platform.  We were given instructions on what to do, warned about what we shouldn't do and then given the option to “have a taxi”.  This meant you were hooked up to a guide.  They made the children go this way and 1 or 2 ladies opted for this method.  There were about 50 in our group and we all trudged to the starting point.  There were 8 zip lines in the first set.  You would land on the platform, go up a few steps and take off on the next line.  We walked about 400’ to the second set and it also had 8 lines.  The shortest line was about 85 meters and the longest was about 500 meters.  Some of the lines were steeper than others but you could reach speeds of 30 - 35 miles per hour as you soared 200 feet over the ground in the forest.  You put your strong hand behind you on the cable and by pulling down on the cable you slowed yourself down.  Your other hand held on to the harness that attached to the cable.  The guides on the platform would make hand signals to tell you to brake or to tell you to roll freely.  Sandy had a grin on her face from the first moment she slid downhill and it stayed on her face for 2 days.  It was thrilling.  The whole experience went too fast and at times you didn't really enjoy the scenery that was flying past.   

The 14th line was one of the longest but it wasn't real steep.  I had discovered that more weight was a disadvantage since it pulled you down and acted like a brake.  On this line I could tell that I was going too slowly so I tried to lighten my grip on the back hand.  I lost my grip which caused me to sway side to side and slowed me down even more.  I came to a screeching halt about 50 yards from the platform.  Normally you would have to spin around and pull yourself hand over hand back to the platform but because I was so far away the young muscular guide came out toward me to help me back.  When he got about 10 feet away from me I heard him holler, BRAKE! BRAKE!  I couldn't be going any slower since I was just hanging there so I wondered what he meant until I heard the whirring of another pulley coming up behind me.  Apparently the guide from the platform I had just left didn't see my problem and he sent a young woman down the zip line.  I could tell from the sound that she would never be able to stop so as I prepared for impact I tried to remember any advice my parents had given me. 

 Never run with a pair of scissors  - no, that didn't help.
 
 You're never fully dressed unless you have a hanky  -  good advice but not useful  right now. 

 Hail Mary, full of….. I just remembered that my Catholic friends said that didn't  help unless you could say it fast 4 times in a row. 

 When the inevitable is about to happen, relax and  - no that was Bobby Knight  who said that. 

 Always wear clean underwear in case of an accident  - this one sounded promising  until I realized that if I had an accident my underwear wouldn't be clean. 

 Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve, use the tablecloth. 

 Check your oil every time you fill up with gas. 

 Nothing good ever happens after midnight.

 Nothing came to mind that would help.  The crash came in stages and seemed to last forever.  I felt the girl’s feet crushing my kidneys (probably the only time I was glad for a prostate problem).  Then her knees rearranged my spinal column and my neck.  Lastly her head slammed into the back of my head and I hastily tried to compose a proper acceptance speech for St. Peter.  She asked if I was okay.  I told her I was fine but I swung around and unhooked her harness and threw her 200 feet to the ground below (okay, that part wasn't true).  The guide quickly lashed the lady and me together and then hooked himself to my harness.  Slowly he towed us back to the platform 50 yards away.  He wouldn't let us help which was probably a good thing since I was slightly dingy and couldn't clear my head of the fog that seemed to surround me (go ahead, take your shots on that one).  The last 10 yards almost killed the poor guy since they were all uphill.  He was towing over 500 pounds and I thought I heard him curse the day I was born.  I felt badly for him so I offered to sell him lumber at a discounted price.  I staggered up to the next line and set off again.  At first I thought everything was in slow motion but then I realized that I was just going incredibly slowly again.  I'm ashamed to say that I hadn't learned my lesson so again I tried to reduce the friction on my back hand and again I slowed down even more when my hand slipped off the cable and I came to a halt 30 yards in front of the landing platform.   

I took 2 nonverbal communication courses in college so I was able to read the expression on the small guide’s face.  “DO I HAVE TO GO OUT THERE AND RESCUE THAT FAT GUY?”  I didn't wait for any help this time so I swung around and started to pull myself back to the platform hand over hand.  Did I mention that it was uphill all the way, the cable was covered with barbed wire and that it felt like it was 105 degrees in the shade?  Although my arms were aching and I was out of breath, I kept up a rapid pace and was soon standing on the platform.  The guide grinned at me and said, “ you a strong one.”  That made me feel so much better.  My arms were tired, I felt dizzy, and my neck was hurting from the crash.  The last line was quite long but didn't look real steep so I asked the guide if I could walk the last line.  I was in no shape to pull myself in if I got stopped again.  He pointed to the ground and I could see that we were 90’ in the air and there was no way down.  I reluctantly got hooked up to the cable and then he changed his mind and made me stand at the back of the platform while everyone else went ahead of me.  I tried to get hooked up again but he had determined that I was going to have a taxi.  I had to wait for a guide to hook up with me.  I was shamed.  I was humiliated and emasculated at the same time.  I might as well have been a little girl.  I pulled my coat over my head to hide my identity and my shame.  If I was Japanese I would have had to commit Hari Kari.  I put on a brave face and enjoyed the last ride and was thrilled as we landed to see that Sandy was there recording this marsupial moment for all mankind to see with our digital camera.  What a day!!!